Do you believe you could be responsible for possibly creating a miracle in one minute or less? Do you believe that at some point in your life the opportunity could arise wherein you could take one minute of your life and possibly create a acim facebook in another human’s life?
Let’s look at a situation prevalent in every country on this planet. Statistics exist, but most of us have a pretty good sense of understanding that statistics are often skewed. When it comes to physical and emotional abuse and being this type of abuse happens most often within family and intimate relationships, the general agreement would be that statistics are really skewed with most cases not being reported. That leaves you with the very strong possibility of sometime in your lifetime being positioned to possibly create a miracle in another human’s life.
A common response when in a relationship with an emotional abuser is that the abused tends to look at all the behaviors the emotional abuser is exhibiting. Why is it that the abused looks more at what the other person is doing instead of how they are responding? From the outside looking in it is easy to say that the abused just doesn’t want to take responsibility for their actions. After an individual has remained in a relationship with an emotional abuser for a duration of time, people on the outside looking in begin to put blame on the abused for choosing to stay with the emotional abuser.
For the person on the outside looking in, this response or attitude is their reason for not getting involved in the first place or if having been involved, is the reason for giving up hope on the situation. It is a harrowing and unnerving experience to be aware of an individual in a relationship with an emotional abuser. The burden of knowing that another human being is being emotionally tormented and torn down and that innocent children are often witnessing the “craziness” becomes overwhelming. When an outsider looking in tries to help the abused and the abused stays or goes back and forth in and out of the relationship repeatedly it simply makes no sense. The decision to not get involved in the first place or to give up hope on the situation is respectfully understood.
When a human looks at something that makes no sense, it is easy to shake one’s head, discount what is happening, and continue on one’s merry way. The problem with that, however, is that the sort of knowledge that comes in knowing another adult human and often innocent children are in relationship with an emotional abuser tends to haunt the learned. And, it should.
If a person is a conscientious, healthy, caring human being then knowing of other humans being tormented and abused will create conflict in the feeling area in one’s life. With that conflict, we try to find a solution. When we look at a situation that makes no sense or to try to make sense of something appears to look like it’d take way too much time, we find a quick solution. That is where the response or attitude comes in where the abused is simply not taking responsibility for their actions and it is their own fault all this craziness is happening to them. Alas, we can go on our merry way back to our land of Pleasantville. And, that is good, too. Conscientious, healthy, and caring humans generally have plates full of necessary and important work to be completed which make our communities safe, thriving, and fun to live in.
Somehow, however, for the conscientious, healthy, caring human being doing “good” and “going back to Pleasantville” just doesn’t take away the gnawing knowledge of someone being abused by an emotional abuser. There must be a better way than reasoning away abuse. Yet, we just don’t know what to do or how we can help.
For the abused, if they are telling their endless stories that for the outsider looking in seems to be “the same old story, just a different day,” the abused is reaching out. They don’t know it and maybe you didn’t know it, but now you do. For the abused, they will tell their story to anyone and everyone because they are desperate. They have lost themselves. That is why all they can talk about is what the emotional abuser is doing to them or just plain doing in general. The abused has become invisible and non-existent to themselves. That is why all they talk about is the emotional abuser.
What can you do in one minute or less to help another human involved with an emotional abuser? What can you do in one minute or less that will create in you a feeling that no matter what else happened in your day, that you made a positive difference?